Mmmm… beer. Sounds good right about now.

Part-broken, Part-whole

This is what you do. Strike a matchstick and leave behind an inferno. I would hesitate touch you now. I would burn.


Take me with you everywhere today. Keep me, high on the inside of your thigh. I am a glass of beer balanced between your legs and you cannot spill a drop. You know it well; the tense muscles. The slip and slide. The hot and cold at once. The strength and fragility – like glass.

I will tell you all about what happens to a glass of beer between your legs: I will sweat. And my sweat will run down my sides and begin to dampen your garments. I will stay wet and cold on the outside. Wet and burning on the inside. Each turn of the wheel, each hesitation on the speed breaker, each swerve, each jerk, I will lurch and be thrown against your skin. Slammed into your muscles. Recede…

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icebreaker 004

Have you ever slipped on ice?

Oddly enough, when I was in college, I took Ice Skating as a Physical Education elective. It was fun, though I would have preferred doing ice hokey instead of pirouettes and sliding backwards on ice. I think I did fall or slip a couple of times then, I’m sure anyone who’s had to take that course with no prior knowledge or actual experience of snow would have or should have.

Have you ever gotten your heart broken?

Yes. But not in the way that I thought it would be. The thing with getting your heart broken is that you never realize that it is already broken until a few minutes, days, or weeks after the fact. It always boils down to what you’re feeling at that exact moment, which you might not even exactly remember how it happened because people are always like that, big events that they think impact their lives are always remembered differently from what actually happened, either with extreme anger or shame or even disgust and self-loathing, any permutation of these.

Have you kissed someone a different race than yourself?

No. I think I’ll never will, but then again, that could sound fun. And it’s not just the kissing, of course.

Have you cut your hair and hated it?

Yes, I have had my hair cut thinking that it would look a certain way and giving exact instructions to the barber on how it should look like, only to end up hating myself and the barber afterwards. I mean, yeah, it’s my fault, so self-hate comes natural, but the barber should have given me more insight into what I was trying to do to myself (my hair) and should have guided me accordingly. Just like what medical professionals would do, I think.

No, I haven’t tried cutting my own hair, except for the hair on my face and a little extreme and not-so-extreme manscaping once in a while, and thus far I have not hated the experience.

What is your favorite food/cuisine?

Off the top of my head, Greek and Japanese. Italian is too common for me, but I think I can cook Italian quite okay. American too, only it’s not that healthy I think. Although I admit I love American comfort food and fast food, and I love watching Man vs. Food on TV just so I can imagine myself taking on those insane food challenges. I don’t do too much Filipino food since I am not that good of a cook yet, although I can cook some, but the thing is that Filipino food tends to differ a lot in, say perception, depending on whose kitchen/family you’re taking about. So, there.

things to do today

I haven’t slept on time again. For sure this will throw whatever sort of plans I might or could have had for this Sunday out the window yet again. I’ll probably get to sleep in about a couple fo hours, that would already be mid-morning by then. And then end up waking up around after lunch or long after that, at the start of late afternoon. I’d laze around in bed for a good half hour or so, watch TV and try set a few things in order.

I will think of claiming my laundry from the cleaners, and spend at least fifteen minutes attempting to put the clean shirts where they should go instead of all lumped up on the bed in the next room. I’d probably wash the dishes too, there’s only a few of them anyway in the sink, more than a week old though.

But then I’d remember that I don’t have any dishwashing liquid left, and, not wanting to just rinse the dishes and glasses in water without soaping and scrubbing them properly, I’d probably just end up forgetting all about washing dishes and hold that off until I could get some dishwashing liquid later in the night. Or, I might get out for a few minutes and actually get some dishwashing liquid. But then again, that might not be the only item I’d end up getting, thinking to myself that since I’m here at the grocery anyway, might as well get some other stuff that I need for the house, and then some food or something that resembles it. I’ll get eggs, bread, and then some deli, or not, when I realize that I still have half a pantry of canned stuff. I’ll get the dishwashing liquid alright, but with everything else that I get, I would have probably spent a well thirty minutes technically just preparing to wash the goddamn dishes, and then another fifteen minutes actually doing so.

Like I said, there’s only about a week of dishes in the sink, and I haven’t been eating a lot here at home anyway for the past week, hence the lack of need for dishes. But still, I go ahead and wash them. Since I got the dishes done, I’d probably thing of doing a little sweeping or mopping as well, or maybe tidy up the veranda a bit and water those dying plants. Mom did say to keep watering those plants. Or maybe I’d do them right now.

But no, I’m quite busy with this one already, and this DVD of Hannibal Rising I’m half watching. After all that, I would settle down and think of going to the gym. Yes, I wasn’t able to go to the gym yesterday, so Sunday sounds like a good time to go. It will take me another thirty to forty-five minutes to get ready, that is if I decide not to shower first, which if I did, would end up costing me an hour. I’d go to the gym, stay there at least an hour and half, feeling guilty for those cups of rice I tried not to eat the past week, tried not to eat.

By the time I finish, there’d probably just be less than an hour to stroll through the mall and get a few stuff, if ever I can decide on what to get. I’m actually actively looking for additions for the Christmas tree this year, though I am quite unable to decide what something new to get without blowing my budget, and of course it has to be something that would work with the current items that we already have for the tree.

But then again, I will be my indecisive self and not get anything at all, wasting the rest of the time and just go home empty-handed. I’d definitely get something to eat, trying my best not to eat rice, but I probably would. I have been craving roast liempo for a time now and that just goes perfectly with rice. And maybe noodles.

After grabbing dinner, I’d go home and rest, unpack my gym bag and check out what’s on TV and watch until I can sleep, which will probably be around five or six in the morning. Before I know it, it will be Monday again and I would have totally forgotten to draw up those coaching logs that are already a couple of weeks due.

I’ll try to write again later to check if I did do any or none of these things.