diary ng panget

*I stumbled upon a series of scribbles from last year about this guy. It was about a series of dates, maybe just a couple of them, with this guy I re-met via social networking. I say re-met since I do remember him from work before, he was a friend of a friend in the office, though we have never been formally introduced nor have spoken to each other, but we recognized each other’s faces. We went out a couple of times and seemed to hit it off instantly but then, well, things happened.

***

07 April 2015 1:03 AM

I don’t think I am one to obsess but I think I am obsessed a bit.

I want to see him again. Talk to him again. Hold him again. Kiss him again.

I am unsure if he felt any spark like I did. I did. The more I think about it, I did. I am not sure if that is rare but I did.

I don’t think he is my type but why am I still thinking of him? I don’t know.

This is going to distract me more than the usual. Maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe that’s the last thing I need right now. I need focus in my life. It’s just a matter of what to see my focus on.

I’m not a good online stalker. I can’t even find him on Facebook. And to think we used to work in the same circles. But I have his number. I think. And that should, could be enough.

A decent interested enough reply. In three days. I’ll give it three days. Otherwise then there’s none. I’d accept the fact that I was just imagining that stupid spark. Three days starting tomorrow.

***

09 April 2015 1:08 PM

Is being out or not a deal breaker, I asked him. For some reason I could not hear or remember his exact reply underneath the whispers. Something about going out of coffee, watching a movie, some sort of date. Then walking up to someone in a sun dress, wide-brimmed hat, and sunglasses, which he told me was not something he really did on a regular basis, only for fun or on Halloween. I don’t know what he exactly said. Or I choose to not remember. I was more sober that moment than when I led him up to my room.

***

09 April 2015 5:47 PM

This silence is killing me. I restless and more out of focus than before. I know that I shouldn’t be expecting too much out of it, we’ve actually only got together twice and those were not even actual dates, now that I don’t even actually know what a actual date should look and feel like.

Again, I am just be way too over my head on this. I really like this person even though he’s the least from what I think my type is.

I’ll give it until tonight. If the silence persists then it must be me and my mind fuck overthinking thing again. Times like this I can totally validate how much of a uptight person I really am.

And to think I was already considering coming out for him. But that is for another post. 

***

To be continued…

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