what defines me

Hello, you again. I’m actually on my way to our team outing right now. Spending time making conversation about random things while on the road. The guys on the driver seat and riding shotgun got to talking about music while the both of us at back are silent. I didn’t think that I’d be silent too but I guess I don’t really have anything much to say.

This got me to thinking, what defines me now?

I don’t have anything that defines me. I don’t have any specific quote unquote interests anymore so to speak. I think I am just floating around randomly.

I used to be interested in music. I was in an office band with my work colleagues and we got into a few gigs. But now the only music I have is basically off my automatically curated Spotify playlist. So I barely know anything current anymore really.

I used to be interested in books. But then who has the time anymore. I could barely keep up with my Kindle reading list of Pocket articles. And we’re not even talking about full books or novels now, just random web articles about anything and everything. The last set of novels I read would have been Game of Thrones. And I haven’t even actually read Harry Potter, save for the first book.

I used to keep a blog. Not much traffic on it, but I was sort of able to keep some form of consistency in the frequency of the posts at least. I miss that, being able to do that, writing consistently. Now I am barely doing any writing at all save for moments like this when I cold even barely keep a coherent thought in my mind much less put it down in writing.

Hmmm. What else? I used to be interested in technology. But then I found it to be a pretty expensive interest. A few gadgets and phones later, I found myself on a BlackBerry, with an OS slowly but surely dying, with the Android runtime which, yes, allows it to run Android apps, but only barely, never the updated ones. I don’t even play Pokémon Go, just because it’s stupid to do so on a tablet. And I don’t even use Snapchat.

Forgive me Panic at the Disco! can really be distracting even if you know the lyrics but could barely keep up with the song.

Back to the topic at hand, I don’t have anything going for me really, in terms of anything interesting. If I was to write a resume for myself about my non-professional life, that would probably fail a lot more miserably than the fact that I did not graduate on my professional resume. I’m so blah, uninteresting and unbrilliant.

I’m just pretending that I am.


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