anxiety

Believe it or not, I only have about twelve days left until the end of my run with my current company. Not so much to say that I haven’t found a job, another job, another job that would pay me as generously as this one yet, but yes, I am still in limbo.

Caught between pursuing a career in Candy Crush Saga or Criminal Case on Facebook, if only it was that easy to be a private investigator, even if I know it’s only a game, I would have to consider the prospect of biting into a slightly less, by a large margin, paycheck with the rate my job hunt is now going. Suffice to say that I have scoured endless pages of postings on JobStreet and JobsDB already and have sent my online and paper resume flying all around the metro already, still no valid and seemingly attractive hits thus far.

And to add pressure on myself, my parents have just moved back into the house, so there goes my privacy and well treasured solitude out the window, among other things. I am actually genuinely not scared of going unemployed right now, now that my parents are home, but then again you reach a certain age when you have to start about thinking long-term, and I haven’t actually started yet.

I have told my colleagues that I have to start considering going on a slight sabbatical if need be, and the need is much more getting clearer by the day. With the current drought in positive prospects, I think I will have to run at least a month unemployed and wait until the middle of the second quarter to start back up again. In the middle of summer, planning for a vacation when you actually have no means of doing so sounds a bit counter-intuitive but then again, the fantasy of lazing around in the beach all day, feeling the kiss of the sun on your skin and drinking a boat load of beer and an even bigger shitload of food sounds more promising than having to run around like a headless chicken scrambling for work through the sticky humid streets of Makati or Ortigas.

Yes, this is a bit too much anxiety over nothing specific, nothing concrete and nothing, literally nothing at all, me being without a job at all in the coming three weeks, but hey, to each his own.

For now, I have a lot of things to do still and thinking or mulling about the prospect of prolonged unemployment would  and should be the last of my priorities. I am a bit happy with the time I can finally afford to finish A Dance with Dragons (finally), and then treating myself to a new wireless router and a Nexus 10 and a bit (a lot) of shopping. My puppies desperately crave for new shoes. Again, this is counter-intuitive for a person losing his job but then again, I would better feign indifference about the whole thing externally, than go ape-shit crazy about the whole deal.

The universe opens up to those who allow themselves to the elements, and good things come to those who wait. Anxiously. But hopefully, not for too much of nothing.

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