an exercise in cyber-stalking

I should be doing something else, of course, naturally, I am doing something else other than what I should be doing. I am eating too, which is not so bad. I chanced upon your profile on Facebook again today. “Chanced” might not have been a very good word to use in this instance, it would be awkward to say I have been “chancing” upon people online. That’s just weird. But then, I did notice that you have lost quite a lot of weight lately, and to cut the long story short, like your hair, you look… well, hot.I have not seen nor talked to you in a long time, maybe except for a few exchanges over social media, but in person, I can’t even remember the last time I saw you.

I had to take a moment, my sundae is melting and I was actually thinking of the last time that I saw you but no specific occasion comes to mind. Except for this one time that we… but then again, I may just be in denial that that was the last time that I did see you, I was just kinda hoping there was some other time after that that we had met.

I checked out your full profile, and re-learned that you, in fact, already are in a relationship. I don’t know how Facebook came upon these labels, but I mean a status of “In a Relationship” is just as complicated as one that says “It’s Complicated”. Everyone is in a relationship with everyone else at one point or another. One cannot have not relationships at any given point in time. Relationships are actually subjective. That being said, I have yet disputed and proven in the same paragraph that then, Facebook is right. Someone has to set the “In a Relationship” status first, and then the other party would have to concede/agree that they indeed are. It doesn’t really matter what the nature of the relationship is, but what is important is that both of the parties agree that they are in one. Otherwise, then you set it to “It’s Complicated” which is, in this case, should really be “It’s Unreciprocated.” Hello, Facebook?

So, there. Where was I? Your boyfriend. Apparently he’s some white dude with two kids. Not bad, not bad. But I didn’t see any signs that you and him were actually physically together. I’ve done some long distance relationships before, and that ain’t good, and not to mention, fun. Oh well, to each his own.
I guess what I really wanted to say was I did miss you, not just once, not just a few moments before. That was even before you called my attention via your picture on Facebook, I had missed you not a few more times way before that. I guess it’s just talking to you, and being beside you. You were kinda my fan, and I would be an asshole not to admit to liking that, but in that way, I was your fan too, I guess. In a way, because of how you were mine.

But then, there, I said/wrote it. I hope you and your “relationship” have a good, long , happy run. You could say I am genuinely happy for you, but let’s not go there.

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