no pain, no gain

My knee is still shot from the workout the other day. I feel old and smell old, with this mentholated plaster I slapped on it. I don;t know if it’s my knee that is keeping me up this late again or I just had too many cigarettes again before bed. I figure it’s the second one. Plus, there’s this recurring issue about my kidney stones that everyone seems to take too seriously, except for me, the actual person who has them. Not that I take it too lightly as well, I just can’t wrap my finger around the fact that I eat just like everybody else, even healthier, and yet I have pet rocks in my body. I just don’t think it’s that fair for everyone else to blame my way of life or my dietary choices altogether.

I really don’t mind the pain at all that much, I guess it’s just the fact that the pain could be more than something simple bothers me more. That I could just simply be ignoring these signs that there is something bigger that’s wrong with my body in general and it might just be too late for any doctor to find it out later. I don’ t think I am a stranger to pain. I have six tattoos under my belt, and probably more if I had more time and money on my hands. But sometimes when doctors ask me to describe the pain that I am feeling, I do find it very difficult.

I think I am more familiar with pain when it comes from outside like when I get my tattoos or somebody slaps me on the face or socks me in the gut, but if it is something that comes from inside my body, I wouldn’t know how to describe it. Then there’s the other question of rating the pain on a scale of one to ten. I wouldn’t really know, since I think my tolerance for pain is quite high, how can they accurately say that I am im some sort of trouble already? If I rate a potentially dangerous kind of pain as a 6 or 5, would they treat it the same way as a simple kind of trouble if I say it was a pain of 10? I think for something to have a rating of 10 on the pain scale, it would have to be so painful, no doctor would even dare ask me or else risk getting hurt by me. On second thought, I guess the question does make a little bit of sense if someone has already experienced that kind of pain that would push their number ten off the charts, but for those people who just can’t handle even the slightest discomfort, that scale would appear rather skewed. Not that anyone would actually admit to that, but just saying.
I’m thinking the next time that a doctor asks me about pain, I might give an answer like “the same pain you’d feel when a friend or a lover betrays you or lies to you” or something like, “the same way I felt when I broke up with my girlfriend of five years” or “I feel like my dog died.” That should keep them doctors on their toes, especially in the emergency room. Ha!

In a way, this entry is a bit good. This was good. Not good enough, but still a sign of progress.


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