Of course I am at it again.There’s nothing else to do really.
I normally have my Saturdays all to myself and I kinda like it that way. I never had to worry about anyone or anything, I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not but it really works for me.
I always wondered how it would feel to be really good at something. I don’t was that good at anything really. I guess from an early age, we’ve been pretty much trained to dabble at a lot of things. So that I do until today, dabble, I mean. I do a bit of art, I do a bit of dance, I do a bit of writing, and I must say, I also am not really that shy when it comes to singing, most especially when I am drunk. I can’t say for certain if I am any good at any of those things, I can be good only up to the point that people who aren’t any good at it can recognize it, but that much that I can actually line myself up with people who really are. I know, I am much of a mess. And even at being a mess, I seem to fit mediocrity.
I think I need to take up a new hobby. That is, other than pretending to know how to write. I need to take something that I am not really good at and then slowly become good at it and fall in love with it. On one hand I was thinking of gardening, but then judging from the condition of my mother’s plants right now, and then figuratively how most and all of my friendships and so-called relationships are going and have gone, I don’t really have any nurturing bone in my body. Well, I am a people manager, so I guess I am pretty good at managing people at one point or another, at least as observed by my previous managers and peers, so that must be something. If I add those two up, the most likely plant that I’ll end up taking care of would be weeds. I can manage weeds for a hobby.