tomorrow is now / darkly

It seems nothing is going according to plan so far. Well, not that I have laid out any concrete plans yet really. Most of it are actually just visions of what I want to happen or do or be, and not so clear visions at that.

I am getting tired and a bit really sleepy. I got to start again tomorrow. Oh, wait. tomorrow is now.

There will be pieces of the story that feels exactly like one line or one sentence that you might have already read on another part of the story altogether, because in reality, it is just how the story goes. Most of the time, it feels like just another day, same day as before, nothing really different or worth telling a story for really happens, but still we have to live it out because it is just what it is, part of the longer story itself. Even the most minute details have to be painstakingly laid out before you, there might be a slight difference in the color or tone, but still, it is like reading a gigantic sign that says deja vu. And the reader will have to go through that all over again, and all over again, and the reader will have to go through that and read it all over again, because that’s just what it is, part of the longer story itself, whatever that story turns out to be. Slightly different, may be just a change in color or tone.

Forgive me, I just felt the urge to go a bit darker. And then darker still.
In my story, someone has to die. It’s not going to be someone who everyone will not expect to die, but it will be someone who everyone will be expecting to die. The reader will want this character to die, will in fact wish for it. And it will stretch on and on, just as those long story types go without this person dying, when in fact everyone knows that the key to the story ever moving on or getting anywhere would be to have this character just die. Now. But not yet. He is still alive. And will be alive for the next dozen chapters, moving in and out of the pages detailing exactly, with such agonizing pain, that she has to die. I haven’t quite decided yet if the character will be a man or a woman, most likely it will be someone just like me. But the reader will have to bear through all of that because that is just what the story will be: something that persists and something that won’t let you sleep until someone, this character just dies. Because in reality, there are indeed people like that, people whom you just wish should just die. Some people really don’t have that much use in the stories of our lives that we don’t really want to be bothered anymore with the excess air that they consume. They should just drop dead. But no, not yet.

It will be a dare. How long can my readers last without dropping the book or this character dropping dead.

And still, I want to go darker. And already it is quite dark, I didn’t t even notice how dark it already was.

When I wake up later, I want to write about what I just dreamt about.


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