new habits die easily

Today is the start of a new habit for me. I will try to write more from now on, preferably before I go to sleep.

I have deliberately turned off the wi-fi function on this netbook to see if this will allow me to better establish a routine of writing. I guess we’ll have to see how long I can actually do this before it actually drives me crazy.

I was rounding up a list of things that I could write about a while ago on my tablet. Come to think of it, I don’t really have that much ideas going on in my head, really. I have always thought that I did, but when it came down to actually listing them dow, I really don’t have a lot to go with. Sigh.

I was talking to a friend the other day when she mentioned that Terry, another friend who is now working in Singapore, was actually ruminating about going to a psychiatrist and formally be diagnosed as clinically depressed. I had that thought before, going to a psychiatrist. But I have since changed my dream diagnosis of a mental disorder from clinically depressed to just plain alcoholic. I have been ver vocal with my friends how I wanted to be an alcoholic. I guess if I had an alcoholic person to talk to and if I had happened to mention that fact, he or she would probably tell me not to wish for it since I wouldn’t possible know half of the troubles an alcoholic would probably be going through. But I guess that is the point, really. When we were kids, we told our parents and anyone who would have asked what we wanted to be when we grew up. Some of us wanted to be a doctor, an engineer, maybe a scientist or an astronaut. But did we really knew back then how much harder it would be to become these things when we actually did grow up? I don’t think so. Did anyone say how expensive and how tedious college would be, and how many failures we would have to experience just to get that degree in engineering? No one told us the truth about life when we were young, and I don’t think that’s really any different from me wanting to become an alcoholic when I grow old. I gre up and so far, I don’t think I actually became any of those things that I had wanted to be when I grew up back when I was young. At least I would have a goal for when I grow old.

This doesn’t even make any sense at all now does it?

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