letters unsent – SJR 1

Hello. How are you? I know it’s cheesy that I even ask you this, but I was just making a bit of conversation before starting up again. I hope you are having a great day while you’re reading this. I understand that the sun’s been out quite a lot lately, after the long weekend. It’s a bummber how much activities people in the cities have missed choosing to stay indoors instead of heading out of town. Some staycation that long weekend was, right? Either way, I hope you feel refreshed.
It’s been a while since we’ve last seen each other. I can’t even remember when was it exactly, not like it was that long ago already. For all I know, it has not even been a month since I’ve known you. I don’t know if I’ve told you this already but the first time we met was really weird for me. I might have told you that already but I just can’t seem to get over it now. I never thought people who’d meet the way we did would just opt to talk. I mean, we did, and then some. But the part of it that kinda weirded me out was how you just kept on talking about your day and how you seemed genuine. Genuinely interested not necessarily in me, but in talking in general. I am not saying that you are talkative, though you are, in a good way at least. But what I am really trying to say is that you have a way with words that make people listen. Maybe that’s why you got that same teaching gig at the same school that I went to.
I don’t know why am I even doing this to myself. Looking at your Facebook account; checking my phone for your messages; thinking long and hard if I should send you a message either way; baring my soul on this letter that I know for some reason you will never really read. I don’t know. Well, that’s one good thing that I got out of this whole thing, a lot more items to add to the list of things that I do not know. I was going to say, I mean ask you what that meant, but that doesn’t even really matter now.
But all I know was that I was talking to you last night. Via text. And you were pissed at me. I think you were furious, more like it. I knew it kinda felt that I was trying to piss you off deliberately, but I think for the most part I was. Why? I don’t have the slightest clue. Maybe I just wanted to know how it feels like to do that on purpose. Maybe I just wanted to know how it feels like to have someone hate you intensely from afar (well, not really afar, we were just technically a few blocks apart). Maybe I just wanted to know how it feels like if it was you.
I apologize if this kinda sounds disjointed or disconnected from everything else. I am trying to write this while pretending to do actual work here in the office. In a few hours, I’ll be practically alone, everyone else would have gone to the bowling alley. The sales team organized something for the whole floor, kind of their end of month bonding activity and so they invited us from the training team as well. But being that I am transitioning to a managerial position over at another shift with another team, I had to stay behind and attend a meet and greet session with the London counterparts and my soon-to-be Euro shift team. Oh well.I guess bowling can wait. I am not really even a fan of the sport, I suck at it. Like I suck at this. Letter-writing.


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