I feel a lot older than my real age, but I think I have missed out on a lot of things that came along with getting older. I don’t feel any kind of sense of accomplishment for some reason. I feel that instead of progressing as a person with age, I have come to my own psychological plateau and indeed have actually started to regress. But is that necessarily sa bad thing, to regress and always want to stay in the same place that actually bears a small resemblance to feeling good? Is it necessarily a good thing, that I am trying to get the most of my age while I still can, while society will still let me get away with it, while risking looking like some loser who people would gladly say “Grow up!” to? I don’t know. I don’t know.