is it going to be worth it?

I think I have blogged enough about how useless I am right now. Okay, jobless. But the good news is I’m nearing the end of my job hunt, at least for now.
I just went in today to review this company’s job offer for me. It was pretty standard, detailing basic compensation, bonuses, benefits and other employee entitlements.
The last time I looked at a job offer on paper was more than five years ago, although when I came in for a shotgun interview/job screening process for this one other company before, I was given the figures straight away and then off the bat, I definitely declined. I mean, come on, they were giving me the as basic pay what I was earning every fifteenth.
Fast forward back to earlier today. So I was reviewing this job offer this company was giving me with the HR associate explaining the bullet points. I don’t remember her name exactly, but she was very gracious to answer my questions about the offer. I had planned to list down all my possible questions before I went in, but in the middle of the scramble to get to their offices off the far side of the Earth (At least for me, maybe I just haven’t gone around that much lately.), it totally slipped my mind.
I’m no HR person, I don’t even know how to be one, and certainly my personality would automatically disqualify me for any post under Human Resources, or at least under Talent Acquisition, as they now call it. But where did they get that figure they offered me? I am under the severe impression that since the only thing they can base my value on would be my resume, which as I have severely established many times over to my colleagues doesn’t translate well to what I can actually do. Again and again, I just don’t look good on paper. And so I just found out earlier today as well, I’m not worth that much on paper either. I don’t think I’m worth just that. But true, they have yet to see that still, if they do take the risk of hiring me.
How do you calculate how much someone is worth at work?
I didn’t sign up right away. I told the lady I had to sleep on it, little did she know that I am not a big fan of sleeping lately anyway. I imagine myself not really needing the job that much since I’m still living off the meager savings that I have left. I can basically coop up in my house for about another month, okay, two weeks, without needing to go out at all. But then again, I imagine a lot of things.
“And you’re leaning towards?” a friend asked.
“Darkness. An unending abyss of vagueness and uncertainty. In short, hindi ko alam,” I replied.
I don’t really know. There would be serious corners that would be cut if I take it. But I know I’ll eventually get by. I’ll get used to it, I think. Might have to consume much less and buy a lot less stuff, but hey, since I’m on a diet anyway, why not go all out, right?
I told the lady I had to sleep on it and call them back tomorrow to confirm if I am going to accept it. Off to do some bargaining tomorrow, if I can. At least, in the end I tried. And if the next time you see me in the daylight wearing not my usual get up, then I must have taken it either way.
I just don’t think I’m worth just that much. Just ask my mother.
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