feeling right

Talk about stress. I’ve had one two hour call and another that lasted for more than an hour including an escalation.

Sometimes I feel like one of these days I’m going to be found out. It’ll be found out that I am doing something wrong.

Sometimes it’s not always about not being right or wrong. Sometimes it is about being right or wrong. Often it is about feeling right about something. Everybody loves feeling right. The feeling that you’re doing something right. The validation that what you’ve done is something right. In this line of work that I’m in, especially since I’m just new to this kind of job and am just learning the ropes of the trade, that’s a feeling that’s hard to come by. At the start, maybe, but how long will it take?

There are good days, and then there are those days. I know how George feels sometimes, that feeling that you’re almost ready to give up. There’s that very thin line between giving up and marching forward that you’d have to toe everyday. And for what? One measly survey that will spell the end of your career and of those who would have done better, only now they’re not going to get that chance because the company would not get that share of the business.

There’s no use complaining really, I don’t even think this would count. I’m just trying to put it out there: sooner or later, it’s either I’ll get over the feeling that I’m doing something wrong, or I’ll finally feel that I’m doing something right.

One of these days I’ll also realize that I may be putting too much of myself out there.


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