last first last

Last night was the first night of the last week here at M&M. I don’t know what the others are thinking about. I guess since most of them are just moving over to the other side, it didn’t really matter that much, it was just another day at work. I can’t blame them. I myself am trying to act normal. Well, in between the bouts of fever that I was fighting off last night every 20 minutes or so, I was trying to act normal in spite of the chills. I think I was just really tired and lacked sleep that’s why I got feverish. Plus that arctic cabbie I got going to work, that really was a meatlocker he was driving.
I guess I was thinking that the work itself made me sick. The thought of working with no means of the future. I was going to end my relationship with the program that I’ve been with for four years. I’ve been with the company for five years last Sunday, more than any other school or commitment I have been in. And spending four fun years in M&M feels like graduating or leaving high school, only they don’t have diplomas or a graduation ceremony. It’s like they just pull the cord from up under you with just a two-month notice.
Forgive me for being incoherent, I must just feel very sleepy from the drugs I just took. Well, what gives? I won’t be able to post this anyway until… Forever. Nope, more like the end of the month. By then I guess the physical manifestations of my anxiety for the move would have already ceased. Or not.

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