untaught

just got off a very long day. started out having dinner at yellow cab yesterday with my friends. and then off to videoke night at t.morato. off to a friend’s house for a sleepover; before the mad rush at the national warehouse sale in pioneer. needless to say, i’m very tired.

brushed glances with the ex all night long. i don’t know what’s wrong but apparently somoene just couldn’t take breathing the same air as mine, not that i care. i’m way over it. it just feels weird for her and everyone else in the group. does it always have to be that way?

i don’t know. there are somethings college or life would not teach you, at least not in the most definite terms. some, you just figure out on your own; some you get by trial and error, mostly errors; and some you trust your instincts on.

and when all else fails, for all the rest, you just jump right through it.

*****

when you get to thinking a little too much, it kinda hurts when you realize how helpless you can actually be. up to the point that you try to make up your own imaginary regrets to justify not doing anything but muse about stuff. stuff that really do matter in the long run, but not at least in the moment of now.

bleh.

*****

then there’s that one person who makes sense of it all; one who crumbles it all apart and lets each piece randomly fall into place through her gentle hands. and the thought that you may never see her again.

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2 thoughts on “untaught

  1. it’s me. there are situations in life wherein you can’t learn anything to help yourself. it’s up to the other person. you feel weird because in the back of your head whispers, if only…but the other person does not want to/trains in vain not to visit the back of his/her brain…where YOU lie… hidden in their closet of skeletons.it’s the ghost of you that gets them

  2. Damn it, it’s high time you do something about it. Fly to where your irog is. Whip up the craziest sinigang dish you can, season it with your musings, and offer it to her, like she’s some goddess. It’s easier to deal with loneliness and/or depression than regret, I think, so live and love like you mean it.

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